Don’t groan at me! My rule is that no one can even say the ‘C’ word (not that one!) in my house until after 5th November – Bonfire Night, for those of you who might not have heard of it. See V for Vendetta for a slightly pious retelling of the history.
But when you have kids, keeping the gentle chime of bells or the sparkle of colourful lights out of the home becomes a battle from late July. So, I allow myself to start at least planning my decor from 6th November, and actually putting up decor from the last week of.
Anyway, I do enjoy Christmas, especially now that I’m in charge. Well, I’m second in command to Mr Strange, but the main thing is it’s our house, our rules. I love all the things you would expect to love about Christmas, but I’m curious of those who love an entirely different aspect of it.
Last year, I posed the same question about the Santa Claus fetish, and I maintain that there is something about him. But, what about the holiday itself?
There are certainly some romantic aspects; sleigh rides in the snow, cuddling up with hot chocolate, snowflakes in the air. And I am 100% in for passionate sex atop a fur rug in front of a roaring fire. Of course, in my house it’s more like a quickie atop an old blanket in front of a radiator. I don’t have a mansion, I have an inquisitive and soft-footed 3-year-old.
I was sent an email containing advertising for Christmas themed lingerie and I felt very torn about it. (Not unlike how I expect the lingerie would feel after a short while, heheh.) On the one hand I was like, ‘Ha, who’s getting off on a woman in a red and white furry panty set?’ And on the other hand I was like, ‘…oh. Me.’
What about you, dear readers? Do you ache for a candy-cane between your lips? Do you beg to be the gift for someone to unwrap? Are you eager for a meaty stuffing?
I went too far with that last one. I knew it even as I wrote it.
Take care,
Strange
Don’t put me on the naughty list; I’m sorry for the stuffing crack.
Strange here. Just had a little inspiration for some thoughts I’d like to share. I don’t often give advice on any platform where I can avoid it. This is for two reasons;
1) What the hell do I know? On a scale of the whole world who access the internet, I am certainly no scholar on any topic. Who am I to tell someone what to do?
2) Who needs the aggro? Most topics these days are considered highly controversial by someone. And I rarely care enough about any given topic to fight a passionate stranger over the web about it. Everyone’s entitled to their opinions, of course, so I tend to just keep mine to myself.
However, I heard something today that made me chuckle, and also made me want to sit someone down for a quick ‘girls-chat.’ But since I don’t know her, I figured I’d just put this out into the world to see if it helps anyone.
So, a friend of mine received a voice message from friend with benefits, (for the sake of the post, we’ll call her Elle) detailing her saucy exploits at a BDSM club the night before. Let me tell you, the stuff she saw and did was hawt! I actually found myself becoming somewhat excited by content of what she was describing.
My friend on the other hand, was a little grossed out. Not because she doesn’t like what was being described, quite the contrary, but something about the recording just set her teeth on edge.
Now, being an erotic writer doesn’t give me claim to many occupational skills, but sexy story telling is definitely one of them. As I considered our different reactions, I started to realise what Elle had done wrong.
You see, Elle had sent this recording to my friend with the intention of getting her excited with her outrageous adventures, but she wanted to seem subtle and cool, as if my friends approval was a bonus but not necessary.
I get that, when you’re flirting with someone, you want them to be interested in you without seeming too bothered by it. The problem was, Elle tried to achieve this by telling the story as if she were doing stand up. For example, ‘So, I was at the club and I look over and Georgia is getting fingered by the barman! Hahaha. I don’t know if the bar will pass their next health inspection after that!’
…You see what I mean?
Now, anyone who has read my work will know I love lacing a little comedy into my stories, but you can’t have a punchline to a sexy scene. All it does is make the whole thing feel awkward and uncomfortable. If someone is cracking jokes at a time like that, it’s usually a good sign that they’re not hot for you. Sorry about it.
So, what I would like to say to Elle is this; if you’re telling a sexy story, then tell the sexy story. Commit to it, go all in. Let your voice become a little husky while you remember the way the barmans shoulders bulged while he thrust his fingers in and out of your friends wet pussy. Tell us how her moans of pleasure made you want to place your lips on hers and taste her gasps, to adsorb some of her ecstasy into you.
The sexiest thing in the world in confidence. If she had told that whole story with honest arousal in her voice, she’d have been getting an invite to dinner and drinks with Mr Strange and I. As it is, I don’t think Elle will be hearing from my friend anytime soon.
So there you have it folks, a few words of wisdom from a humble erotic writer.
As a side note, I’ve just finished the first draft of Beast of Backar 2, (Title still pending), I’m really excited about this ending, I’ve definitely gotten a little wrapped up in the drama of it all, but I think it worked. I’ve loved writing this story, and I’m sometimes surprised by the pleasure I still experience from writing. Every time I think, ‘God that was so fun, I’ll never love writing a story like a did that one!’ I fall in love all over again. It’s a wonderful feeling.
Also, I think I’ve accidentally invented a writing genre. A lot of the ideas I’ve been coming up with seem to include some kind of a murder or crime with the protagonists having to solve it. Is erotic-crime a thing? If not, patent-pending! 😆
Oh, one final thing. I think only the most expert of erotic storytellers can use the word ‘squirt’ and make it sexy. Note, you’ll never see it in any of my stories because I can’t pull it off. Elle used it at least four times. 🙄
I know I’m a little late with this particular title. According to my kids season poster, by which I plan my year, Autumn started in September.
But I haven’t had time for blogging since then! I’ve been very busy wearing orange jumpers, drinking and eating pumpkin flavoured everything, and generally rolling around in leaves like Tinkerbell’s crazy cousin that no one talks about or invites to family events.
I’ve always believed that magic loves Autumn. Not just because I’m obsessed with Halloween, but the world just feels more magical at this time of year, doesn’t it? On a crisp, cool morning, I would swear you can smell the mysteries of the world in the air.
Aside from succumbing to my Autumn madness, I have actually been writing, (albeit with leaves and pine cones sticking out of my hair) and I’m pleased to say Beast of Backar 2 is half way finished.
There have been several aspects of this story that are a little new to me. I’ve been exploring some different themes in terms of relationships and trying to manage more characters than I usually have on a page at any one time.
I’m really enjoying it though, as always. My favourite part has been getting to know deeper layers to my characters, even delving into their darker sides!
The book should be edited and ready for release in about two weeks, stay tuned!
It’s out! It’s already out and available to buy! My new book, Creatures of the Cryptoeroticos: A Fantasmagoria of Erotic Tales is already available on Amazon. And, it’s on a free promo for the next five days!
I’m very excited because it usually takes AGES from when Mr Strange uploads a story to when I get a message saying it’s available online. I was expecting to have time to do a cover reveal and everything but it seems as though I’ll have to show you all now.
I am in love with this cover. As always, Mr Strange showed me a variety of pictures and layouts, and we carefully selected them and put it together. Then he went away and changed it completely. As has become our ritual 😏
So, if you would like to check out my Halloween collection, you can find it at this link. As always, I’d love to know your thoughts if you’re willing to share them (either as a review or on here). I’ve learned so much from all of you and I appreciate any feedback.
So, as a writer of all things kinky and some things funny, I’m not one to back down from being a little risqué or inappropriate at times. But I read something recently that literally made my jaw drop:
I’m not supposed to answer reviewers?!
I’m still pretty new to this, but apparently it’s actually considered a faux pas to respond to reviews, even positive ones. I’m not complaining, I was just genuinely surprised.
I don’t mean that I would want to argue with a negative review, I’ve always said I take feedback gratefully as I’m still learning. But I’m a naturally chatty person, and I’m always super pleased with any review so I like to say thanks.
But have I been making an awkward situation for reviewers? I wouldn’t want to put them off reviewing my writing! Is this something that’s standard practise or just something some reviewers feel?
Writers: do you answer reviews? And if you are a reviewer, what are your thoughts?
And most importantly- how many times can I slot the word ‘review’ into one post? So many questions!
Rumi said that silence has so much to say. What he didn’t know, is that when K M Strange is around, silence doesn’t get a word in edge-wise.
So, I’m currently working on a story all about a woman stuck in a cabin with a huge guy. Not just big, but like, beastly if you will.
Now, we all had our princesses as girls, and I was Belle. As a child, I thought I liked talking clocks. As a teen, I realised what I actually liked, was the idea of a big, strong, slightly scary man beast.
I thought that meant that this was just my type, even my husband is very much that ‘alpha male’ body shape; tall, broad shouldered, oddly possessive of certain wings of the house. But as I’ve gotten older, that perception has started to shift a little.
As an adult, I find I’m far more aroused by mental dominance than physical dominance. The fact is, I’m 5ft 3in, not a big girl. Not even a big hobbit, for that matter. It doesn’t take much for a man to overpower me physically. (I’d like to note I have taken a few guys out with a pretty effective right hook, though.) I suppose it’s just not as impressive when a man is all muscle.
But I do consider myself to be an intelligent person, and as I’ve gotten older, I find I’m more and more turned on by mental prowess. This is a little hard to explain, luckily Mr Strange is an impressive specimen in this category too.
There are times when Mr Strange has done little more than talk to me, lowering his tone, captivating me with his piercing gaze… and convinced me that not only do I want him to fuck me, I need it. That’s what really gets me hot. When a man (or woman in my younger days) could use my own arousal against me. Could tempt my kinky side out and make me behave like the submissive slut I am deep down.
So tell me, dear readers, what is it that gets you hot and heavy: brain or brawn? Do you want to be thrown against the wall and taken? Or talked down on to your knees?
And to those of you on the other side, what’s your most effective technique? Do you throw your lover over your shoulder and carry them to bed? Or do you whisper sweet degradation and make them thank you with their undying physical devotion?
Plutarch said, ‘Remember, the mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.’ I would argue the same could be said of other areas too.
That’s right people, I’ve released the newest story in the Garden of Eden series; Charmed.
This story focusses on the founder of the GoE club; Evander Fort, and the judgemental journalist, Evelyn Kelley. They are brought together by the exploration of Evander’s world, with steamy results and deadly mysteries!
‘Oooooooooh!’ I hear the canned audience cry.
Honestly, I’ve loved writing all of the stories but this one has been especially close to my heart because it’s the penultimate story and it’s brining the whole series towards its end. I feel like I’m now approaching the last hurrah with a bunch of new and freaky friends who I’ve become very close to.
I do have real friends too. I swear…
It’s also been very poignant for me as Evelyn and I share a love of writing that is born from journalism. That’s right, K M Strange used to write for papers. Big ones, you ask? Well, no. I mean, I got a few bi-lines here and there but…well I write erotic fiction now, what does that tell you about my journalistic career?
It’s also been interesting because most of the characters I write are either already into some kind of kink or at least open to it. Writing a character who is as closed and resistant as Evelyn was a fun change of pace for me.
Which raises a question to you, gentle readers. What’s your perversion and when did you come into it? Were you a fully grown adult before you noticed that the feel of rubber gets you all tingly? Or were you reading vampire novels and enjoying them in ways no normal fifteen year old should, like a certain Strange author we all know and are growing to be very fond of?
While you ponder that, I’ll leave you with a particularly enjoyable quote from a well known teen fave of mine:
‘Put your seatbelt on,’ Bella cried.
Edward laughed darkly and responded, ‘you put your seatbelt on.’
‘For Christ’s sake, Strange. Put your panties back on!’ K M’s husband yelled.
Except, not really. This post is actually just going to be my musings on where I fit as a woman in today’s changing world.
I was a child of the 90’s, so I was very much raised by the Spice Girls in the heat of the ‘Girl Power’ movement. It was a great time to be female, I was told I could do anything I wanted when I grew up, and I couldn’t wait to do exactly that!
…Exactly what, exactly?
Good question. I didn’t know what I wanted to do at nine years old (well I did, I wanted to be a Spice Girl, but that’s besides the point). Fast forward ten years and I was on my way to university to be a journalist.
Fast forward five years from there and I was doing something entirely different. Turns out, no one is paying for journalists these days. But that was news to me! (See what I did there?)
Anyway, I ended up doing a job I enjoy, and I’m now married, as many of you know, with a two-year-old son I adore.
So, here’s the big question- did I do what I wanted to do? Is that what I’m doing now? The answer is: sort of. My family and my home are the best things in my world and I’m so incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful husband and stunning little boy.
The question mark is over my career. One of the reasons I started writing is so that I would hopefully make enough money so that I could dedicate myself to being a stay at home mum and wife while still bringing in enough money to support my family a bit.
I know, I know; a stay at home wife? Say whaaat? But the truth is, that’s what I want to do. I want to be with my son, I want to make a home for my family that’s always changing, smells like baking bread etc.
I should clarify, I have the utmost respect for working mums, hell, I am one. I’m not saying this is what people should be doing, I’m just saying it’s what I want to do.
So, I’ve been researching a lot of these women who identify with the housewife lifestyle, and I’ve found something quite interesting. I don’t think I fit there. Or anywhere, actually.
A lot of feminists I come across don’t necessarily like my work because of how erotica is all about sexualising women (and men of course, but they don’t tend to complain as much). And the more traditional housewives seem to value the more demure and chaste demeanour. So, also not super kinky-wife friendly.
So, my question to you, dear readers, is where do people like me fit? What are your thoughts? And do you also feel a little out of place in this world? If so, come to my party, we’ve got apple pies and strap ons for everyone!
And as food for thought; if the shoe fits, wear it. Same goes for gimp masks.
I know, I know, we’re all sad to say goodbye to 2020, forgive me for being so controversial.
Heh, okay, maybe not.
I’m going to join the crowds of people who are very ready to get 2021 started, and I’ve got a lot of ideas that I’m psyched for! Change is cumming people!
My New Years resolution is to purge myself of the toxins in my world; Healthy body, healthy mind, healthy planet. Am I saying ‘No more junk food for me ever again?’ And jogging my way to the supermarket to buy some new gym gear that will only get used three times before being upscaled to my new loungewear?
Yes. But at least I’m trying, bitch!
To be honest, I’m actually in a place where I’m incredibly happy with most things in my life. I find I’m at a stage where instead of trying to make huge changes, I’m more focussed on building on the foundations I’ve made over the years.
Some things definitely have to go, (I still have huge clanking goth boots from my late teens) but otherwise, my plan is to just keep doing better with what I love.
Which brings me, inevitably, to my writing. At the moment, I’m a book and a half away from finishing the Garden of Eden series. I’ve decided to get this all done before I start anything else. I’ve loved writing this series and while I’ll be sad to be done with it, I’ll be happy for my characters who will finally have the answers they’ve been demanding between their many sexual antics!
On the horizon, I’ve got a supernatural series planned, think hotel for sexy-ass monsters meets K M Strange. I’m also in serious debate about opening an Etsy shop under my pen name and selling various night-time delights. I’d be interested in your thoughts on this.
So tell me, dear readers, what are your plans as we skip hopefully into the new year? What do you foresee on your own horizons? Will your plans benefit from some elegantly written porn? You know your girl Strange has got your back.
Until next time, I’d like to leave you with a quote from Mae West that needs no tampering from me, ‘All discarded lovers deserve a second chance, with someone else.’
And like those forgotten lovers, I’m ready to let 2020 fade into the past. 2021 – let’s be having you!
It’s that time of year, after all. The time for giving and receiving, drinking and eating. And let’s not forget, all that fornicating under the mistletoe!
But is anyone’s Christmas really so picturesque? I’m no Grinch, really! But to be honest, I get a little frustrated with the high expectations that come along with Christmas sometimes.
I have a two-year-old son and that is the best thing about Christmas for me now. I love the hype and the songs and the stories. I love the glow of wonder on his face when he sees his whole street alight with neon, and hearing him humming jingle bells to himself at full volume in the middle of the night.
Up until he was born though? Let’s just say my family weren’t exactly the ones they base Hallmark cards on. Imagine the Simpsons crossed with the original cast of Shameless. Traditional and festive? Not really. Drunk and hilarious? I don’t remember, so I assume so. We did the thing, ate the food, swapped gifts, drew funny faces on sleeping Grandad, etc.
But come the evening, I liked nothing better than curling up with a good book. And when I say good, I obviously mean sexy. I don’t know why, I always found it especially exciting to be doing something naughty the second that Santa wasn’t updating the list. Like wearing nothing but lingerie under a long coat out in public. Innocent, as long as you don’t get caught.
With that in mind, my newest story, ‘Spoiled,’ is now available on Amazon. You know, to keep the season kinky.
Remember readers, tis the season of giving… yourself a secret orgasm while everyone else is gorging on Christmas pudding.
K M Strange - Erotic Romance Author 